Pausing the "Must Catch Up" Game

Normally the first thing I do in the morning is take out a notebook, get some tea and journal. Then I write my daily to-do-list, which is just an add on from yesterdays list. Ha. But for the past few months I found that the first thing I do...after checking my son...is get on the internet in hopes of catching up. I spend hours, yes hours trying to catch up in so many different areas. Between personal, community and business projects I can stay on the internet 24hrs for weeks if it was possible. Jewelry making e-mails alone are one of my greatest time robbers.  I have thousands of emails to sort thru daily!

You would think after spending all that time on the internet I would have found a way of managing things better. Nope, at the end of the day I'm still not where I planned to be at the start.  I might have crossed a few things off my list but not in the steady progressive way I desire.  

As I though about that this morning I became a bit discouraged. I became a stay at home mom for two important reasons. To be with my son and to develop as an artist. I can easily go back to work, forget about my projects and just go on.  But that's not where I am creatively and personally. The energy and willingness is there along with the ideas...I just need a way to balance everything so I can get more done.

I thought about it and here's what I came up with.  I've been going too fast, yep that's right too fast. I'm running through things and not finding the connection. I feel everything has connective energy and when you take the time to fully be present with something then you can follow the flow to the next thing. Does that make sense?

See, I'm losing energy and focus because I'm not being present with each task.  If I was... then I'd see the next direction I need to follow.  It's one of those buddhist ironies. Once I know my direction then I can move quicker instead of stumbling all around. So...with this in mind I want to do things different today. After taking a deep breath, I'm going to move a bit slower, more focused and result driven. Lets see how I do...